Hi, nice to meet you I'm Jim G. Olfball, i'm 18 years old and I'm ahead of the game...or so I thought.
The day started like it always does. I slept 'till 2 pm, like I always do on a lazy monday.
When I finally woke up, I got out of my bed and had breakfast...... no I didn't, I'm a golf ball, golf ball's don't eat. I can't believe you fell for that No what really happened is, I took a bath. I'm a clean golf ball and I'm not even going to begin to try to explain to you where the grass sometimes gets into...
So after my bath I was ready to take on the world! Because it was a lazy monday morning, the golf club is closed but being a golf ball, I am a rather sporty little character. So I decided to try something new for today I chose an extreme sport I had always wanted to try, ever since I was a little mini golf ball.
Wow the diving was really great... it was a real adventure. Too bad I don't have arms and legs. I almost drowned because I couldn't swim back to the surface... but then PJ, my owner, saved me from my watery grave. When we got back home, I chilled out for a while, surfing the web you know. But when I was looking around on PJ's laptop, I found porn so I decided to have a look.
The porn gave me an idea, I just had to get laid so I rolled around town to find me a cute little golf ball. After 4 hours of non-stop searching I finally found a pretty golf ball, sitting under a bench in the park. I decided to have a go at it...but hey.. you guessed it, something had to go wrong. So it turned out that my cute little golf ball in fact really was a cute LITTLE mini golf ball. I swear she told me she was 16 but they didn't believe me
So then I got arrested... the news about my little "accident" spread fast around the club the next day, and nobody even wanted to talk to me anymore... let alone play with me. I was banned from the club to protect the little mini golf balls, so there I was... all alone. So I decided... if I won't be missed, than maybe it's better if I just get it over with...
All they found the next day was this...
So it was finally over..... or was it?
of course it wasn't.
so... after one week of revalidation and two sexy nurses' phone numbers, I was back and ready again to hit the streets. So I went back to the golf club but I wasn't allowed in after my little accident. So I decided it was maybe best if I left there for good. So I found myself a new golf club to go hang out. I decided to have a look around the club first before I filled in a job application, so I went under cover and snooped around a bit.
After two hours of playing I couldn't take it anymore... beating my friends half to death with a big metal stick, now that's just sick. Who in there right mind invents such a sport anyway's? So I went back home. After a while it got dark and a thunderstorm was on it's way so PJ put me outside, in the rain, to take a picture of me watching the lightning. What a stupid idea was that?
So after my game of golf and my shocking date with a thunderstorm, the sky's cleared and we we're all set for a night out into town. This time of the year, Ghent is a big open air party. Can't miss that now can I. I was rolling around the town and I visited some concert. A lot of fans were jumping up and down and screaming, but we all know they were screaming for me, not for the band. At that concert I met a few students. One of them insisted that I smelled the "grass". It would make me help get in the party mood. So I went to the park and I did just that... but it didn't really do anything for me.
I know what helps get me in the mood and it isn't sniffing the grass that's for sure. Being an 18 year old golf ball, my life revolves around women, alcohol and the occasional game of poker with my buddies. Since my golf ball buddies weren't there, I decided it was time for booze.
The day started like it always does. I slept 'till 2 pm, like I always do on a lazy monday.
When I finally woke up, I got out of my bed and had breakfast...... no I didn't, I'm a golf ball, golf ball's don't eat. I can't believe you fell for that No what really happened is, I took a bath. I'm a clean golf ball and I'm not even going to begin to try to explain to you where the grass sometimes gets into...
So after my bath I was ready to take on the world! Because it was a lazy monday morning, the golf club is closed but being a golf ball, I am a rather sporty little character. So I decided to try something new for today I chose an extreme sport I had always wanted to try, ever since I was a little mini golf ball.
Wow the diving was really great... it was a real adventure. Too bad I don't have arms and legs. I almost drowned because I couldn't swim back to the surface... but then PJ, my owner, saved me from my watery grave. When we got back home, I chilled out for a while, surfing the web you know. But when I was looking around on PJ's laptop, I found porn so I decided to have a look.
The porn gave me an idea, I just had to get laid so I rolled around town to find me a cute little golf ball. After 4 hours of non-stop searching I finally found a pretty golf ball, sitting under a bench in the park. I decided to have a go at it...but hey.. you guessed it, something had to go wrong. So it turned out that my cute little golf ball in fact really was a cute LITTLE mini golf ball. I swear she told me she was 16 but they didn't believe me
So then I got arrested... the news about my little "accident" spread fast around the club the next day, and nobody even wanted to talk to me anymore... let alone play with me. I was banned from the club to protect the little mini golf balls, so there I was... all alone. So I decided... if I won't be missed, than maybe it's better if I just get it over with...
All they found the next day was this...
So it was finally over..... or was it?
of course it wasn't.
so... after one week of revalidation and two sexy nurses' phone numbers, I was back and ready again to hit the streets. So I went back to the golf club but I wasn't allowed in after my little accident. So I decided it was maybe best if I left there for good. So I found myself a new golf club to go hang out. I decided to have a look around the club first before I filled in a job application, so I went under cover and snooped around a bit.
After two hours of playing I couldn't take it anymore... beating my friends half to death with a big metal stick, now that's just sick. Who in there right mind invents such a sport anyway's? So I went back home. After a while it got dark and a thunderstorm was on it's way so PJ put me outside, in the rain, to take a picture of me watching the lightning. What a stupid idea was that?
So after my game of golf and my shocking date with a thunderstorm, the sky's cleared and we we're all set for a night out into town. This time of the year, Ghent is a big open air party. Can't miss that now can I. I was rolling around the town and I visited some concert. A lot of fans were jumping up and down and screaming, but we all know they were screaming for me, not for the band. At that concert I met a few students. One of them insisted that I smelled the "grass". It would make me help get in the party mood. So I went to the park and I did just that... but it didn't really do anything for me.
I know what helps get me in the mood and it isn't sniffing the grass that's for sure. Being an 18 year old golf ball, my life revolves around women, alcohol and the occasional game of poker with my buddies. Since my golf ball buddies weren't there, I decided it was time for booze.
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