Enkele leuke one-liners

[gerda]

Waar domheid welig tiert houdt men wijsheid voor onkruid.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Anyone who trusts technology, doesn't understand technology.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Talk about memory, this system includes a sense of guilt.
He who dies with the most toys still dies.
If all is not lost then, my God, where is it?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Designing the Technology of Tomorrow... Sometime Late Tonight
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
Chaos! Panic! Disorder! My work here is done.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
This message was created without animal testing.
All answers questioned here.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
Everything I know about computers I learned from my kid.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to
generate.
Better days are coming... Saturdak and Sundak.
Backup not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic.
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
One Christmas I got a battery with a note saying, "toy not included."
Computers also eliminate spare time.
VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
Life must be a highway... I feel like roadkill.
Sacred cows make the best burgers.
Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
Hold a hard drive to your ear and listen to the C.
Microsoft's Motto: We Hav Wurked Outt All The BuGs.
Computer Chip: Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while
programming.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
When, where, how, and who discovered the exact time?
Consult with a real expert. Call your mother.
In Gates we trust.
Pay no attention to the operating system behind the curtain.
I'm so quick I'm fast asleep.
How many lightbulbs does it take to change a person?
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
Why put off 'til tomorrow what you'll never do anyway?
God creates things. He doesn't do repairs. (Just like Microsoft.)
Be naughty and save Santa the trip.
Why is the soup of the day different in every resturant?
Windows would be better with curtains
CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/n)?
What's all this about Hell's fire and Dalmatians?
WANTED: Eunuch programmers.
Marriage is a romance where the hero dies in the first chapter.
Bigamy is one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
We Are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
If speed scares you, try Micro$oft Windows.
My computer has EMS... Won't you help?
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Rotissere: A Ferris wheel for chickens.
Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS.
The FBI called, they want to come play some cool pirated games.
If you don't live in the house, you don't know when it leaks.
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!
ERROR LPT1 not found - use backup - Paper and Pencil
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Error:015: Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
On the other hand, you also have five fingers.
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
Windows is NOT a virus. Viruses do something.
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. The answer is
no.
Even notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
I speak flaming.
As far as I could see, it was a dark night.
Computer Science: Solving today's problems tomorrow.
And on the eight day God said, "Murphy, you're in charge."
Cables are aliens from another planet that use computers to reproduce.
Cats know how we feel. They don't give a damn, but they know.
What a weirdo! You mean you actually *talk* on the phone? Windows Tip
#17: Add Device=Fngrcros.sys to your Config.sys file.
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
Never judge a book by its mini-series.
Firefighters still make house calls.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables.
Homemoaner: a person who complains about property taxes.
Pick two: 1)Fast 2) Efficient 3) Useful 4) Windows (counts as two).
Enter any 12 digit prime number to continue.
All mathochists suffer from calculust.
im@mi.witz.end
Good tech support is a scream saver.
Mispelled? Impossible! I have an error correcting modem.
If we can't enforce the laws we have, why make more?
Want to join my war on technology? Send me a fax.
I'll have one brain on drugs, with bacon, toast and juice.
Don't blow out another light to let yours shine.
Think. It's good practice for when the computer is down.
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
The Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.
Hardware: The parts of a computer that can be kicked.
There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.
The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
A 350-cubic inch V8 is not an enormous can of vegetable juice.
Why Johnny can't read. Now available on VHS tape.
Multimedia: an excuse to pay $2,500 for a CD player and cheap
speakers.
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
I was born agnostic, and I'll diagnostic.
When everyone thinks the same, then everyone is stupid.
Beer not found - (A)bort, (R)etry, (O)pen new brewery

[marjo]

zitten hele mooie bij Gerda leuk om onder een mailtje te zetten. Ik ga ze meteen uitprinten !!!